Hey

A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."

"Do you think it will work?" she asks.

"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".

"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".

"You gave birth to a child!".

"But that's impossible!" says the priest.

"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."

About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."

The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?”

The priest replies, "I am your mother. The archbishop is your father."

Author Unknown

President Bush Had the Bridge Come Down

It must have been President Bush that ordered the bridge to be collapsed. He had this done to take the heat off of the war. Just like he had the planes flown into the World Trade Centers on 9-11 to start his war against "Islamic Terrorists". Everyone knows that this is all about Oil, which means that this is about money.

Although then again, only the left wing extremist would consider that there is any truth to this statement. Having trouble with our constitution that allows s people to be so stupid.

So to set the record straight, I posted this blog, to get you to my blog. So you can click on the ads in my blog and I can make money. I do not believe that any of this is true.

Two Moons

27th Aug is the date that the whole world is waiting for. Planet Marswill be the brightest in the night sky starting August. It will lookas large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will happen on Aug.27 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles of earth. Be sure to watch thesky on Aug. 27 12:30 am. It will look like the earth has 2 moons. Thenext time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Author Unknown

Neswpapers

The Demographics of American Newspapers:
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country . . . or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. The Pensacola News Journal is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something in which to wrap it.

Then there is my paper the Gazette: It is too stiff to wipe my tail on, to small for a small dog to piss on, all its news is taken off the UPI and the only reason I subscribe to it is to find the local store specials, the funnies and the Obits. If i'm not in the Obits, I read the funnies and my wife checks the local store specials and then we trash it.

Author Unknown

The Kalamazoo Gazette my local paper. I don't subscribe to it because; what is not local news is taken off the UPI. The sports are half hearted. There is hardly any Detroit professional teams or any other professional sports, little if not for University of Michigan or Michigan State. Business news, just as much of a joke as the sports section, a very limited selection of stock and mutual fund results. Just another newspaper headed for the same business health of the New York Times and the Los Angles Times. Losing significant numbers of readership that puts out their opinion, while disregarding their readerships opinion.

My Senator Replied that He was In Favor of the Amnesty Bill

Dear Mr. Piet Van:

This is in response to your recent correspondence regarding the subject of immigration. I appreciate receiving your views on this important matter.

Our immigration system is broken and needs reform. Undocumented immigrants flow through our porous borders. Employers hire them with near impunity. Our government lacks the ability to adequately detect unauthorized employment, while employers in sectors such as agriculture, Michigan’s second largest industry, fear that their crops will go unpicked for lack of legal, authorized workers. The bipartisan compromise bill before the Senate was an opportunity to reform this broken system.

The first step in immigration reform must be stronger border security. Although there were some provisions in the bill before the Senate that I did not support, this legislation had strong border security measures, even stronger than the ones we debated a few weeks ago. In fact, it contained the funding for the enhanced border security.

We need a more secure, more sensible, and fairer system of immigration. Because of filibusters in the Senate we were unable to fully consider and amend the bill. We do not know what the final language might have been, and we were unable to get a vote on a number of amendments because of the filibuster. We should have finished the consideration of those amendments to determine whether or not the final product was an improvement on the status quo. I’m disappointed the Senate was thwarted in that effort.

Thank you for taking the time to share your concerns with me.

Sincerely,

Carl Levin

Bloggers Response:

Thank God there were enough Senators that listened to the people versus my Senator! I must agree that we must get border security first. I must disagree that there are not people that are willing to do the farm work with out the illegal immigrants. There are people willing to do the job, just not below minimum wage or possible the wage that the farmers want to pay.

Making the 2002 Tax Cuts Permanent - A Letter to My Senators

To the Honorable Senator Debbie Stabenow & Carl Levin:

I would like to know when would you be pushing the legislation to make the 2002 tax cuts permanent? Failure to make the tax cuts permanent will be a significant tax increase on my family and other families in our great nation.

One of the biggest tax cuts was the child tax credit. I am sure you are in favor of doing things for the children of this great nation. The next measure that directly impacted families was the raising of the minimal taxable income.

As I remember there were also provisions in those tax cuts that revised the depreciation schedules advantageous to businesses. By making these depreciation schedules permanent this is advantageous to re-investing in your business. Additional measures included the lowering the capital gains taxes. Right now Michigan manufacturing needs this help. Michigan manufacturing has taken such a beating in plant closures; jobs moving down south and internationally. This is very depressing. In quoting for jobs as an engineer, the deprecation costs sometimes is the make it or break it factor in keeping these jobs in Michigan and the United States. Without the revised deprecation schedules made permanent, you cannot depend on using the current deprecation schedules; we must use the old schedules.

I’m sure you understand that Michigan has some of the highest unemployment in the nation. Tax cuts and making the tax cuts permanent is one of the biggest things that the federal government can do to stimulate the economy. I grew up in Michigan. I returned to Michigan after honorable service in the United States Navy and I would like to raise my family in Michigan. The Great Sate of Michigan needs your help right now!

Sincerely,

Pieter J. Vande Vusse

The People Spoke

What a great thing happened this week in the Senate. The people spoke and the Senators had no choice but to listen. The people did not want was what congress had come up with for immigration reform.

This incident goes to show how powerful the voice of the people is. It told the people the importance of writing your Congressman/woman and Senators. If you are upset with what congress is doing, you must call or write your legislator.

Have you written your legislator to tell hem how you feel about making the 2002 tax cuts permanent? I have young kids and those tax cuts equals $3,000 a year to me. What else is important to you?

By the way, the Senators were not happy about this mass of calls, e-mails and letters. They are blaming Talk Radio, and they are right. Talk Radio did stir up a lot of the people, but it is the job of the legislators to listen to the people too. In response to the Amnesty bill failure by the Senators having to listen to the people. There are Senators that are trying to write legislation that would kill Talk Radio. When this happens, it will be time again for the American people to tell their senators what to do again.

Corporate Hiring Practices?

What is up with companies today expecting new employees to relocate their family, yet expecting the new employee to travel 70% (out of town 7+ nights in 10 working days) and up? Where would it make sense for the new employee to up root their family and never be there. How does it make sense to the company to pay for the relocation expense and never have them in their office?

What is 70% plus travel? Try thinking of it this way; there are 5 working days in a week of seven days. If the employee is out of town over night seven working days in two weeks, that is 70% travel.

Traveling expenses on average traveling to one city in North America, flying out Monday morning and flying home Friday night, hotel, airfare, rental car, meals and misc. expenses; it averages about $1,500 a week. This is base on an average town and not a "big city". Big cities can be considered, Los Angles, New York, Toronto, Chicago, etc. This is based on my experienced of traveling 150,000 plus qualifying miles a year for the last three years and 200 plus nights in hotels per year. Call me a road warrior.

So you need me in the office, fly me there on the way to another meeting or on my way home. It costs a lot less than paying the relocation expense. My experience of 80% plus travel, I'm only in the office maybe 14 days a year. My experience of planned travel to the office has cost on average of about $700 per stop. Compare $9,800 for travel to the office versus $40,000 plus for relocation expense, what a cost save!

Next time you decide you need to hire a person for heavy travel that would have to relocate. Consider getting them a very good laptop, PDA mobile phone with unlimited minutes and extra batteries, and a corporate credit card. Have the travel into the office when you need them there for a meeting and get out and do what you need them to do for your company the rest of the time. It's cheaper for your company and easier on your new employee.

How is it easier on your new employee? First they do not have to go through the stress of selling their house. They don't have to go through the stress of buying a new house and moving. Their family is not up-rooted from where they are already settled. They are already going to be gone from their family a lot, but why put their family where they have little family or friends? You see, your company saves money, and your new employee is happier. In the end it can be a true win, win.

In the end it should be the new employees choice.

Iran Protests Potential Further Sanctions

The Israelis handled this "negotiation" right with Iraq in the 1980’s; they bombed the reactors under construction. A squadron of Stealth fighters dropping on all of the sites simultaneously would be very effective. Iran is delaying through negations while they continue to build. In effect Iran is thumbing its nose against the world.

The United States is losing the war on terror because we are unwilling to do what it takes to win. The United States is sitting on its hands while terror state nations; continue to build up an arsenal while we try to negotiate. The United States is trying to appease the world with negotiations with terror state nations that flat out say they want to kill all of the Americans (Iran).

Other than Vietnam, no other country has ever beaten the United States in war. We lost in Vietnam because we lost the will to fight. Vietnamese Generals have repeatedly publicly stated one more year of B-52 carpet-bombing would have had Vietnam at the bargaining table begging for peace. We lost the war because we quit. We need to put on our pants and go kick these terrorists off of this plant and let them meet Allah.

As a nation we are not taking the war on terror very seriously. I really believe we will not take it seriously again until we get attacked again to the level of 9-11. Our government also needs to stop denying that these little attacks are people that went wacko and call them for what they are. I am referencing the Muslim that went it to the mall and just started to shoot people.

There was this short little song during the Iranian hostages crisis back when Jimmy Carter was in office, “Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran. Lets bomb Iran!” The truth is that we are eventually going to have to destroy Iran in its current terrorists state, if we ever desire world peace.

Senator Reid Hates the Military

Senator Reid does not understand that bashing the Generals is the same as bashing the troops. Senator Reid has choosen this week to start bashing the Chairman of the Joint Cheif of Staff. Senator Reid has also choosen to bash General Petraeus.

At the same time Rep. Ellen O. Tauscher (D-California), a member of the House Armed Services Committee, said Pace lost standing among members in March when he said homosexual acts were immoral and that the military should not condone the behavior by letting gays serve openly. Pace later apologized, including in a letter to Tauscher, for expressing what he said were his personal views. The problem is that Representive Tauscher has is she does not understand the troops do not want gays in the military at all. I would believe most troops do support General Pace's comments.

A Low Pass Apachie Fly/Drive By

Click this link!

http://shock.military.com/Shock/videos.do?displayContent=139471&ESRC=dod-b.nl

No Hugs Please

Check out this link.

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=49750&cl=3121880&ch=49799&src=news

For once the Communist News Network, for once they have this one right to pick on this school district.

Heck my daughter in first grade would be expelled for kissing boys in kindergarten and first grade. Do I think the kissing is appropriate; yes I was not happy to hear about it. I don't think I'm going to be happy when I find out she has a boyfriend when she is 20 or 30 either. Although, I think kindergarten and first grade is way to young to be kissing boys. I am curious on what is the percentage of how many people did not kiss somebody at school when they were a kid? I think most people have kiss another student at some point when they were growing up when they were kids going to school, I think it’s normal. Although, I could understand a policy against kissing in school.

As to hugs, I see nothing wrong with hugs. As for touching like this schools policy goes, I think they need to spend a little more time concentrating on teaching, than worrying about students touching each other.

The World¹s Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, "Will you marry me?" The guy said "No" and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.

The End


How do youu tell the difference between a sea story and a fairy tale?

A fairy tale starts out, "Once upon a time...."

A sea story starts out, "Now this is a no S h i t t er!..."

Did You Write Your Congressman Today?

The Senate Voted for an Energy Bill Last Night If you don't like what congress is doing, have you written your Congressman/Congresswoman or Senators lately?

The link to write your Congressman/Congresswoman or Senators:

http://www.webslingerz.com/jhoffman/congress-email.html

Let them know what you think.

The Senate Voted for an Energy Bill Last Night

What a screw job to manufacturing in the United States this bill is. Obama, did you forget about the Chicago Assembly Plant or Mitsubishi, in Normal IL, or Subaru too? Hillary what about the assembly plant in Buffalo NY? You need to remember that each assembly plant equates to about 10,000 jobs to the assembly plant and the suppliers surrounding them.

From what I have heard so far, there is nothing in this bill about additional drilling for oil in the United States, including Alaska. There is nothing in the bill to allow for new refineries to be built in the United States. There is nothing in the bill for more nuclear power plants. There is nothing in the bill for increasing the use of windmills for electrical power. There is nothing in the bill to increase the use of bio fuel. Nothing in this bill to reduce the farm subsidies to encourage farmers not to farm their land. Nothing in the bill to accommodate spent uranium waste. Nothing in the bill to encourage development of hydrogen fuel. Nothing in the bill in the bill to support the development of H3 power. Although, there is a brand new CAFE requirement, where there is no technology to support the development.

There is nothing in this legislation to deal with the problem until 2020, thirteen years from now. Our Senator’s did nothing to help with our energy problem for our nation. Or nation has an energy problem and has had one long before September 11th of 2001. Secretary of Energy Spencer Abraham at the time did very little. Yes Spencer Abraham was the former Republican Senator from the Great State of Michigan and he did very little for Michigan as a Senator too.

Ted Nugent Says It Best

Ted Nugent was being interviewed about his deer hunting by a French journalist. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, "Are you my friend?" or is it "Are you the one who killed my brother?'" Nugent replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, "What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away? They are very much like the French."

TSA Takes Sippy Cup From Mom

This has been all over the net of the TSA trying to take away a sippy cup from a mom. Do I believe they tried to take away the sippy cup, ABSOLUTELY!!! Do I doubt that they threatened to arrest this mother, no doubt at all that they did threaten her. Would I believe that she tried to identify herself as a Secret Service Agent, yes. Do I believe that the mom tried to threaten the TSA Agents, NO. Am I surprised that the TSA leadership is denying this, heck no. They have released a video with no sound (as shown in the title link), doesn't prove a thing. Do I like or care for how the TSA is run, heck NO!

Just after 9-11 they came up with the TSA, I believe Teddy Kennedy was part of it. What a shaft job to the traveler and the citizens. What they created was a new tax. This is just one of the first conservative failures for Bush 43. The airlines did not reduce their fares once this tax was put in place. But what difference does it make they are only taxing the rich again.

Did the TSA improve airline security? If I were to judge it, I would call it a marginal improvement, if any at all. Who am I to judge this, at times I travel 100,000+ miles a year by air (not frequent flyer rewards points but miles) for work. I have done this before and after 9-11.

My impression of the TSA is no better qualified than what was in place before. Most of them are on ego kicks and abuse their authority. Most are rude, and talk down to you. Most of their rules are ridiculas. Like you can not carry matches in your checked in bag, because they may rub against each other and start a fire in the luggage compartment. My luggage gets lost as much as it did before. It is not uncommon for my luggage to be on a different flight than mine (security risk).

End of the day, Bush and Kennedy put in a tax increase and hid the name of it.

Nifong Does Not Get Nifong'ed

With Michael Nifong getting disbarred, there is some justice. Unfortunately, the young men he wrongly and publicly accused of the crime lives have not been made whole after his abuse of the system.

The Price is Wrong With Rosie O'Donnell As A Potential Host

I think it is a lousy idea to hire Rosie O’Donnell as a replacement for Bob Barker on the Price is Right. Don't get me wrong; I like Rosie as an entertainer. Although, Rosie has a long history of running her mouth off on facts she is totally wrong. Her comments at times are very offensive to her sponsors and to some of her audience as well. Rosie will bring an audience with her, but she will also run off an audience too.

I don't care about her homosexuality. I am just disappointed that in her own way she is an attractive woman to some man that could be a father in helping her raise all of the children she has adopted. Yes, I believe a mother and father, not a mother and a mother or father and father best raise children.

ABC and Barbara Walters had no choice but to get rid of Rosie from the view, she became a liability. CBS can do better with someone else to host the Price Is Right. If someone wants to use Rosie for ratings somewhere, let her have another talk show on some other time slot.

Nice Dow Jones Average - What's Wrong With Michigan

The Dow Jones and inflation is doing great, so why is Michigan leading the nation in unemployment? The state government that is trying to tax its way into prosperity. A workforce with an entitlement mentality. High health insurance costs. A workforce belief that they need a labor union that extorts them and the company. Why would you build a manufacturing plant in Michigan? Let alone keep the plant you already have in Michigan and not relocate it?

Don't get me wrong, I love living in Michigan. I love the schools for my kids. I love the people. I love the beauty the Michigan has in it seasons and all of its lakes.

As a case in point of taxing its way into prosperity, the Kalamazoo Airport (AZO), It costs nearly $100 more per ticket to fly out of Kalamazoo versus Grand Rapids (GRR) due to the landing fees at Kalamazoo. Continental Airlines left Kalamazoo Airport over that alone. The Kalamazoo area also lost the GM Plant because the township sued to recover some of the tax abatements, because they felt GM did not live up to its end of the agreement. GM shut the plant down two years later.

Kalamazoo used to have over 15 paper plants; I think only one or two are left.

Benton Harbor, there is no more Whirlpool manufacturing left, why do you think there was the riots a few years ago? There are no jobs for the general laborer. The absenteeism, union mentality, theft and more are part of the reason. I never worked with Whirlpool, but I have worked with Collins & Aikmen (bankrupt and plant shut down in St. Joe). Bosch is in a slow process of shutting down its plant in St. Joe. Wolverine Plastics has shut down in Stevensville.

Trying to hire people (300-400 jobs) in South Haven. We battled with candidates not able to pass drug tests and very simple math tests. Once the ones that did pass the test and get hired, started to abuse the absenteeism policy right away. You would not believe how many excuses they would come up with for medical restrictions upon getting out of their probation period. Ones that lasted a year came up with so many excuses to get on FMLA, it was amazing. The fall out rate was shocking too.